Getting The Help You Need: New Mom Resources

As Fall approaches I can't help but think about where I was a year ago, a brand new mom of a big, healthy baby boy and freshly out of a botched c-section surgery. Experiencing complete opposites on the emotional spectrum, I was vacillating between euphoria and despair. It was uncomfortable for me to acknowledge that such a joyous, heart-bursting moment was also a terrifying and excruciating one. This was compounded by other people's expectations. Just answering the question 'How are you doing?" seemed intensely complicated. If I said 'Amazing, I couldn't be more in love with my new baby!' I felt that I was hiding a big part of my experience and myself. But if I said "I'm in a lot of pain" it felt like I wasn't acknowledging the beautiful creature who had just arrived in our lives; it felt selfish and negative. "It's a hard and beautiful time" I wrote, just 10 days after he was born. 

My son turns one in October, the joy he gives me keeps growing and the pain of the surgery (both physical and mental) has faded. Reaching this 1 year milestone feels like a good opportunity to honor this journey by sharing some of the things that got me through it with a little extra grace, confidence and honesty. 

• I recently chatted with neighborhood mother, pre + post-natal focused yoga teacher, lactation counselor, all around amazing resource for mothers-to-be and newbies: Liz Buehler Walker. Liz's pre-natal class at Jaya East helped me in so many ways beyond the physical, I looked forward to every Sunday when I knew I was going to a space filled with support, humor and a real sense of community in a laid back setting. After the birth she also assisted me with a lactation counseling visit that rocked my world. Here's a bit of our conversation: 

Bone broth is an excellent food for new moms post childbirth. 

What three ways a new mom can take care of herself physically after childbirth? 

1. Nourish herself. With good, hearty food (ideally homemade by someone else who loves her). And eat plenty of it.

2. Pull belly button to her spine and hold it there for 20 seconds while she counts out loud (so she’s not holding her breath). This tones the deep abdominal muscles and supports the spine. She can do this up to 5 times a day.

3. Use coconut oil. It is highly nutritious. She can put it on her skin, leave it in her hair for a while before one of those elusive and glorious things called a shower. She can put it in her oatmeal and her smoothies. Added bonus, you can use it on baby’s skin and hair, too. Great for cradle cap. **It makes some people itchy so be on the lookout for that in yourself and your baby.

Are there different modalities you recommend or don't recommend right away? 

1. Going to physical therapy for pelvic floor and abdominal rehab. Pretty much everyone can benefit from it. Your care provider can write you a referral.

2. Anything that helps you feel like yourself, like the real you, like the NOW you (not the you that used to sweat it out in a killer spin class until you felt like you were gonna fall over)

3. Pilates is great, but work with someone who specializes in Post-Natal or take a Post-Natal Pilates class. Otherwise it can be too much forward bending of the spine and exacerbating the separation of the abdominal muscles called Diastasis (her care provider or physical therapist can evaluate for Diastasis)

What are 3 things you wish someone told you the first year of having a baby?

Liz and her son, what a lucky boy!

1. It takes 10 months for your body to grow and birth your baby (sometimes many months or years of preparation before that), so you should expect it to take at least 10 months for your body to return to something that feels like “your body”. 

2. Your body continues to be your baby’s home for the first 6 months of life, and that is extended in some ways if you continue breastfeeding longer. So it is an intense connection that can feel stifling, but it also makes you very mobile since the outside environment matters MUCH less than your baby having you as home base.

3. SEEK AND ACCEPT HELP! Tons of people did say this, but I wish I had been able to hear it and do it. My son is 5 now, and it has been in the last 2 years or so that I have finally figured out ways that I can take the pressure off of myself as being the “it and the all” and get meaningful support for both him and me. (Side note: one of my favorite postpartum stories is a friend of mine who when her daughter was a baby would hire a babysitter, but instead of going out they would stay in and eat dinner, watch TV, etc. I love this idea of alleviating the intense pressure of baby needs (diaper changes, rocking) for a couple hours but without adding on the pressure of getting dressed up and going out. 

Liz's Contact Info: email: lizbyogalife (at) gmail.com
instagram: @lizbyogalife

Eva Grimaldi keeping babies happy and mommies supported.

• Another neighborhood person who helped in those early months of motherhood was postpartum doula Eva Grimaldi. She helped with everything from a little light housework to holding the baby while he slept and I ate/ showered/rested. She had so much knowledge and helpful pointers to share and was even our our first babysitter at 6 weeks. The time and care we received was truly helpful, especially when my husband had to go out of town soon after I gave birth. I had Eva come over for 4-5 hours just so I could get a break during that time. Her rates were affordable and she was easy to communicate with over text and email. A postpartum doula can offer so much and the beautiful thing is, we have great one just around the corner. 

Eva's Contact Info: evakgrimaldi (at) gmail.com 

She is also listed on http://www.kindoulas.com/ourdoulas/

Judy at Jaya

• I have been going to Judy Atrubin's Gentle Yoga class at Jaya East since I was cleared for exercise. The class is a wonderful way to move (gently) and listen to your body in a non-competitive, mellow environment. Her sequences are different every class so I never get bored and she is excellent at offering different variations for injuries or ailments. After months of physical therapy, the one thing that actually helps with my shoulder pain is Yoga and this class is a great place to get grounded. See you Sunday, mamas! 

Gentle Yoga with Judy

Sundays @ 5:30 

Jaya East