Getting The Help You Need: New Mom Resources

As Fall approaches I can't help but think about where I was a year ago, a brand new mom of a big, healthy baby boy and freshly out of a botched c-section surgery. Experiencing complete opposites on the emotional spectrum, I was vacillating between euphoria and despair. It was uncomfortable for me to acknowledge that such a joyous, heart-bursting moment was also a terrifying and excruciating one. This was compounded by other people's expectations. Just answering the question 'How are you doing?" seemed intensely complicated. If I said 'Amazing, I couldn't be more in love with my new baby!' I felt that I was hiding a big part of my experience and myself. But if I said "I'm in a lot of pain" it felt like I wasn't acknowledging the beautiful creature who had just arrived in our lives; it felt selfish and negative. "It's a hard and beautiful time" I wrote, just 10 days after he was born. 

My son turns one in October, the joy he gives me keeps growing and the pain of the surgery (both physical and mental) has faded. Reaching this 1 year milestone feels like a good opportunity to honor this journey by sharing some of the things that got me through it with a little extra grace, confidence and honesty. 

• I recently chatted with neighborhood mother, pre + post-natal focused yoga teacher, lactation counselor, all around amazing resource for mothers-to-be and newbies: Liz Buehler Walker. Liz's pre-natal class at Jaya East helped me in so many ways beyond the physical, I looked forward to every Sunday when I knew I was going to a space filled with support, humor and a real sense of community in a laid back setting. After the birth she also assisted me with a lactation counseling visit that rocked my world. Here's a bit of our conversation: 

Bone broth is an excellent food for new moms post childbirth. 

What three ways a new mom can take care of herself physically after childbirth? 

1. Nourish herself. With good, hearty food (ideally homemade by someone else who loves her). And eat plenty of it.

2. Pull belly button to her spine and hold it there for 20 seconds while she counts out loud (so she’s not holding her breath). This tones the deep abdominal muscles and supports the spine. She can do this up to 5 times a day.

3. Use coconut oil. It is highly nutritious. She can put it on her skin, leave it in her hair for a while before one of those elusive and glorious things called a shower. She can put it in her oatmeal and her smoothies. Added bonus, you can use it on baby’s skin and hair, too. Great for cradle cap. **It makes some people itchy so be on the lookout for that in yourself and your baby.

Are there different modalities you recommend or don't recommend right away? 

1. Going to physical therapy for pelvic floor and abdominal rehab. Pretty much everyone can benefit from it. Your care provider can write you a referral.

2. Anything that helps you feel like yourself, like the real you, like the NOW you (not the you that used to sweat it out in a killer spin class until you felt like you were gonna fall over)

3. Pilates is great, but work with someone who specializes in Post-Natal or take a Post-Natal Pilates class. Otherwise it can be too much forward bending of the spine and exacerbating the separation of the abdominal muscles called Diastasis (her care provider or physical therapist can evaluate for Diastasis)

What are 3 things you wish someone told you the first year of having a baby?

Liz and her son, what a lucky boy!

1. It takes 10 months for your body to grow and birth your baby (sometimes many months or years of preparation before that), so you should expect it to take at least 10 months for your body to return to something that feels like “your body”. 

2. Your body continues to be your baby’s home for the first 6 months of life, and that is extended in some ways if you continue breastfeeding longer. So it is an intense connection that can feel stifling, but it also makes you very mobile since the outside environment matters MUCH less than your baby having you as home base.

3. SEEK AND ACCEPT HELP! Tons of people did say this, but I wish I had been able to hear it and do it. My son is 5 now, and it has been in the last 2 years or so that I have finally figured out ways that I can take the pressure off of myself as being the “it and the all” and get meaningful support for both him and me. (Side note: one of my favorite postpartum stories is a friend of mine who when her daughter was a baby would hire a babysitter, but instead of going out they would stay in and eat dinner, watch TV, etc. I love this idea of alleviating the intense pressure of baby needs (diaper changes, rocking) for a couple hours but without adding on the pressure of getting dressed up and going out. 

Liz's Contact Info: email: lizbyogalife (at) gmail.com
instagram: @lizbyogalife

Eva Grimaldi keeping babies happy and mommies supported.

• Another neighborhood person who helped in those early months of motherhood was postpartum doula Eva Grimaldi. She helped with everything from a little light housework to holding the baby while he slept and I ate/ showered/rested. She had so much knowledge and helpful pointers to share and was even our our first babysitter at 6 weeks. The time and care we received was truly helpful, especially when my husband had to go out of town soon after I gave birth. I had Eva come over for 4-5 hours just so I could get a break during that time. Her rates were affordable and she was easy to communicate with over text and email. A postpartum doula can offer so much and the beautiful thing is, we have great one just around the corner. 

Eva's Contact Info: evakgrimaldi (at) gmail.com 

She is also listed on http://www.kindoulas.com/ourdoulas/

Judy at Jaya

• I have been going to Judy Atrubin's Gentle Yoga class at Jaya East since I was cleared for exercise. The class is a wonderful way to move (gently) and listen to your body in a non-competitive, mellow environment. Her sequences are different every class so I never get bored and she is excellent at offering different variations for injuries or ailments. After months of physical therapy, the one thing that actually helps with my shoulder pain is Yoga and this class is a great place to get grounded. See you Sunday, mamas! 

Gentle Yoga with Judy

Sundays @ 5:30 

Jaya East 

              New Season, MORE Stuff (part 2) 

Bye Summer, we had a blast ! 

Splash Pad at Prospect Park's Lakeside extended season: 

Open Until September 27th ! 

All ages and Free: Soak it up! 

Fall Art Workshops start at Barking Cat Studio September 21st

Ages: 12 months - 12 years (depending on class) 
Price: Drop ins are $25 - $35 depending on the class (save more by purchasing a class card) 
When: So many classes from 9:30 AM - 4:00 PM Monday - Saturday 
            Check Website for specific class times. 
Where: 219 Greenwood Ave between East 2nd and East 3rd 

Barking Cat Studio is the creative inspiration of proud Brooklyn native, toy designer & graphic artist Karen Merbaum. As the top cat at Barking Cat Studio, Karen sets the tone for an exhilarating, upbeat, creative environment that encourages her students to produce fun, out-of-the-ordinary arts & crafts. Karen & her staff’s commitment to the arts & the students makes the studio experience at Barking Cat one kids (and adults) won’t soon forget. Barking Cat is also offering school pick up for kids 7-12, call the studio for more info! How cool is that? 

Got a little performer on your hands? Auditions for The Nutcracker at Alden Moves Sunday, September 27th 

Ages: 4 and up

Price: No performance fee, just 3 advance adult tickets ($60 value)

When: Audition: Sunday September 27th 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM. Parents must email to reserve audition time:                 info@aldenmovesbk.com

Performance: Sunday December 20th - shows at 11:00 AM and 5:00 PM.

Where: Auditions at Alden Moves Studio 1203 Church Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11218

Performance at East Midwood Jewish Center

 

The Nutcracker is a magical production in which students have the opportunity to dance side by side professional dancers and exercise their imaginations. They gain an enormous sense of enjoyment, purpose and responsibility by participating in a production bigger than they are, and have the opportunity for team building that they don't get in classes alone. This is ALDEN MOVES Dance Theater's 2nd annual production of The Nutcracker. 

New Season, New Stuff ! (Part 1) 

Baby and Me Yoga with Anna Beth at Jaya East starts Tuesday September 15th

Ages: 6 weeks - 14 months

Price: $18 or class card
When: Tuesdays at 12:15 - 1:15
Where: Jaya Yoga East - 2902 Fort Hamilton Parkway 

Baby and Me is a yoga class for babies and their moms, dads, or caregivers. The class incorporates a strengthening and relaxing yoga practice for the adults while providing lots of cuddles, activities, and songs to encourage the physical and emotional development of the babies. Each week, we aim to nurture both caregiver and child, build community, and tailor a practice that addresses the specific needs of postpartum moms and all parents.

Anna Beth is a parent of two and knows firsthand the symbiotic relationship between yoga and parenting. She earned her 500-hour certification through YogaWorks, received her certification in kids yoga from Karma Kids, and obtained her Yoga Mom, Buddha Baby certification with Jyothi Larson.

New Open Play hours at Prospect Gymnastics 

Ages: 4 and under

Price: $10 or 10 pack for $60

When: Mon, Wed, Thurs @ 12:00 - 2:00                          Tues @ 1:30  - 3:30 

             Fri, Sat @ 3:00  - 5:00 

Where: 1023 Church Ave 

Open playtime for toddlers 4 and under. Parental supervision required. Only 1 grown up per child Guardian must actively supervise their child at all times. No food or drinks on the gym floor. If your child needs a snack please feed them in the back tile area. Please enter through backyard entrance only (black gate on Stratford Road). 

Toddler Tuesdays at Alden Moves are back starting September 22nd

Age: The program is designed for toddlers through age 4, but babies and older siblings are welcome.

Price: $10 per family

When: Tuesdays at 10:00 - 10:45 

Where: 1203 Church Ave 

Fabulous pianist and teacher Maxine Feldman joins ALDEN MOVES Dance Theater's Alden LaPaglia for a sing-along and dance-along in one, featuring Disney classics, theater favorites, standards, kids songs, and even the Beatles on 1203's baby grand piano.Throughout the program, kids will have the opportunity to dance, play, and bounce around our spacious studio, all while belting out anthems like "It's a Hard Knock Life." To top it all off, every program finishes with piano discovery, during which kids can take their own turn at the piano.

Music Together Fall session starts September 14th - (slots still available for Monday morning class last time I checked!) 

Age: newborn - 4 (with caregiver)

Price: $280 for 10 week session 

When: Mondays @ 11:15 - 12:00

Where: Jaya Yoga East - 2902 Fort Hamilton Parkway 

A 45-minute music class include songs, rhythmic rhymes, movement, and instrument play. These activities are presented as informal, non-performance-oriented musical experiences--developmentally appropriate for children and easy for parents and caregivers--regardless of their own musical ability. 2 CDs and Songbook are included! Pre-registration is required,  Call Hootenanny anytime at 718-369-0528 for more information. http://southslopemusictogether.com/index.htm

You know its time to get out of your neighborhood when you can't remember the last time you used your Metrocard...

Me (excited) and baby boy (mildly amused) in the water sculpture at Pier 1 at BK Bridge Park.

  Last weekend we had a mini adventure in Dumbo at Brooklyn Bridge Park.  Leaving my comfortable little 'hood for large public gathering areas (on weekends, no less..) usually gives me mild heart palpitations but sometimes I just gotta get out and see what all the fuss is about (or so I tell myself) ! Sometimes it's easy to forget that we live in one big, amazing city with everything at our finger tips. I highly recommend visiting the areas near Pier 1 at Brooklyn Bridge Park (off the F @ York Street station). The water sculpture was so much fun, kids and adults screamed with pleasure as the unpredictably timed sprays of water shot up from the ground. It was truly a joyous relief from the heat. Also, there where shaded paths to follow that lead to a gorgeous view of the water and plenty of benches for sharing a snack or nursing. The playground at Pier 1 is perfect for crawlers and kids under two. Here is a link to all the playgrounds at Brooklyn Bridge Park. 

  Just be aware there are no elevators at the York Street stop and a good amount of stairs, so be prepared to do a little schlepping. The smoothest, stroller friendly route is: walk down Jay Street towards the water and take a left on Front Street. Walk down Front Street until you get to Old Fulton Street (about 5 blocks), take a right and you'll be in the main part of the action. They are restrooms, food vendors and even a water bottle filling station right in that area.

 We easily spent most of the day there as there was lots to see and do, and even managed to have a cold drink at The Bridges on Water Street once the baby fell asleep. They were cool with us bringing the stroller inside and even had highchairs.

 We never made it to the pop-up pool, but I have heard good things. Mommy Poppins has some great tips and a few pics.  

Here's the pool schedule and the list of rules/guidelines. 

I hope everyone enjoys these last days of summer!

A little help is all we need sometimes...

    In many ways, being a stay at home mom is the toughest job I've ever had. I don't think anyone can be fully prepared for how having a child changes your life. Whether it's the physical toll it takes to give birth or breast feed after a c-section or the mental stamina of trying to function on little bits sleep day after day - the challenges are real, physical and like nothing you've encountered before. Sometimes you have to wonder, how does anyone do this and not go a little crazy? Well, the truth is, I think we do. I recently received an email from childbirth class instructor and postpartum doula Caitlin FitzGordon and it really hit home for me. She talked about the need for self care for mothers and the dangers of depletion. 

"I still have to be vigilant about keeping my tank full and finding ways to not slip into depletion mode. Yes, at 7 and 9 my kids are not as demanding on me physically (I'm not carrying them everywhere and I'm not breastfeeding) but I am hyper aware of their needs. I have to be careful to not let my default be to tend to them first." 

 Her words rang true to me, especially now. I wanted to share her very simple list of warning signs of

Another glamorous day as a new mom.

depletion and some quick fixes as well as long term tools for coping. I am printing this list out for myself and putting it somewhere I can look at frequently. I also wanted to share an article that Caitlin made me aware of that discusses Postnatal Depletion. It was very heartening to read, not because I was looking to diagnose myself but because it makes the point that self-sacrifice (even for our precious, unbelievably amazing children) can have very serious consequences. I share the view that our society is not supportive of this fact. How many moms have I heard complain of intense back and shoulder pain (usually post c-section) and after some physical therapy just end up living with it with no real solution? As one doctor shrugged, "Yeah, it just goes with the territory.." Sure, but not super helpful medical advice and what about the fact that living in pain for long periods of time can cause depression? According to mainstream media the number one thing on your To Do list after having a child is: Losing That Baby Weight! What about eating and hydrating enough to sustain yourself, resting, asking for help from family and friends, or being gentle with yourself about body issues? Now that's a 'To Do' list. I was in a Yoga class once and before we got into a pose using props the teacher said "Take your time and set yourself up well". I try to think of this phrase as it relates to many parts of my life, this idea that you should give yourself a good, solid foundation before attempting something new or daunting, even something as simple as making dinner! Taking the time to breath, look at what you can use to support you and giving yourself the gift of a solid seat. I will be using this section of the blog to discuss this further, offer ideas and resources to keep depletion at bay. As we head into Fall, a time of introspection and change, let's set ourselves up well. 

Thursdays are the new awesome! 

For the month of August the Carousel in Prospect Park is FREE for kids under 12 on Thursdays from 12:00 Noon - 6:00 PM. However (I learned this the hard way...) adults are NOT FREE! So bring $2 (per ride) for yourself if your little one needs you to go with them or if they are under 42" tall. There are restrooms nearby as well as a snack cart with water and ice cream (you know, the essentials). The Carousel is about a 25 minute walk from the Southern most part of the park walking north on East Drive.

Also happening on Thursdays: Nature Exploration at the Audubon Center with various events from 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM ~ FREE~

Enjoying the giant fish pillows at Animal Encounter

We attended the Animal Encounter which starts at 4:00 PM on Thursdays. The space is great with restrooms and a water fountain downstairs (convenient stroller parking!) and a wonderful animal filled room upstairs, a nice play area and there were even volunteers playing nature themed board games with older children. There's a nice bench for parents to rest their weary legs and still keep an eye on the little ones in the play area. This event seemed perfect for kids of all ages. Who doesn't want to feed a snapping turtle at a safe distance? Kids 2-7 would get the most out of this experience. Although the play space is perfect for crawlers. Just a warning to the easily grossed out, they do feed a snake a frozen mouse. Yum and wow. The feeding of the animals doesn't last very long, but I felt the trip was worth it as it was free, educational, exciting and the volunteers were great with the kids. Families lingered in the space afterwards enjoying the animals and the play area. 

Here's the full Thursday schedule for Nature Exploration: 

Discovery Pack, 12–4 pm: The Prospect Park Alliance invites you to get inspired by nature with our new Discovery Packs, a ready-to-go kits filled with nature activities for families.

Nature's Helpers, 1-2 pm: Did you know that trees help trees? After learning how mulch protects tree roots, spend time spreading wood chips around trees.

Bird Nerds Game Hour, 2–3 pm: Test your knowledge of birds in this fun, mildly competitive hour of puzzles, Bingo, card games, and more!

Nature on the Go!, 3 pm: An Alliance Naturalist will lead children and families to areas near the Audubon Center, where you can learn about the nature that is all around us and participate in a Citizen Science project.

Animal Encounter, 4 pm: Curious as to how Snappy the turtle got her name? Want to watch the snake gobble a mouse? Join Alliance Naturalists in learning more about the animals in the Audubon Center’s collection and even assist in an actual feeding.

Here's a map: Audubon Center at the Boathouse.

A VERY similar line up of events also happens on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays at varying times. Check out Prospect Park's Website for a full schedule: 

Welcome!

Hi everyone! I hope you will find this blog helpful and fun. Here I will be doing my best to keep up with all the latest kiddie happenings in our great neighborhood (and maybe sometimes, if something sounds SUPER fun in another neighborhood, I'll be sure to share!). My goal is to try to inform parents and caregivers of low cost and/or FREE casual activities we can all enjoy. Please be aware that many venues do have last minute cancellations so if you really want to be 100% sure something is happening, please call or email the venue/organization. Otherwise, being flexible and spontaneous can be a great lesson for our kids, right? If you have an event you would like me to list on the google calendar or as a featured post, please feel free to contact me. Together we'll keep these kids singing, playing, learning and laughing!